Surrendering Is Not Easy For Me

Yes, it's true.  I don't "go with the flow", although I do believe in the basics of going with your inner nature as taught in the wonderful book The Tao of Pooh.  Usually, if I get angry or upset with someone I keep it inside.  In the past when I have tried to be blunt and honest, I ended up hurting other people's feelings.  Now, I am at a crossroads with a friend of mine who has only been there when it is convenient for her for the past year.  In other words, she comes around when and only when she wants something.  I am now trying to communicate honestly and openly with people, but now I am faced with the question, "How do you communicate with people that don't want to communicate"?  I am at a loss.  So, now I feel that this is a time where the practice of surrender could really help me.  I want to hang on to these friendships, but our paths are definitly going other directions.  I feel I could go further, but how do I "break" without burning bridges?  I left one of these friends I'm talking about a message.  It could have been more articulate, but I just poured everything that I've felt out and I wasn't exactly calm, nor was I mean, just stern and disappointed.  Have you ever had your "best friend" hide from you when they see you in public?  It kind of hurts.  That was kind of the last straw.  Now that I reflect further, this "friend" also mocked my practice of volunary simplicity.  I need to calm down and realize that everything I am talking about is OK.  We can grow apart.  I will make new friends.  People come and people go.  I just feel that I have been there above and beyond.  She has been a great friend, but our friendship is strained and she has taken way too many withdrawals from my emotional bank account.  Thank you Samme by the way for your comment.

Take care,

Ian Quiet